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“God I am lost and confused and I do not know where you are in my life. I cannot feel you like I used to and I feel as if you have turned your face from me!”
This is a common prayer for people who feel distant from God. This is the type of prayer that is resonated through Psalm 88, and this is the type of prayer that St. John of the Cross wrote extensively about. This feeling of distance and isolation was one that was very familiar to him as he faithfully served God even in the midst of his own great spiritual darkness which he calls “the dark night of the soul.” The perspective he brings however is significantly different than what we might expect. He defines the dark night of the soul as a time when God desires for us to grow deeper. He writes that “The ‘dark night’ is when those persons loose all the pleasure they once experienced in their devotional life. This happens because God wants to purify them and move them onto greater heights.” Interesting.
Is he trying to say that God at times will intentionally bring us into times where we feel distant and separated from Him? Yes, but it is for our own good. It is for a greater purpose that we probably do not understand at that point, and most importantly, it is out of His great love for us!
Later on in the his book, he writes that:
[God’s] love for us is not content to leave us in our weakness and for this reason He takes us into a dark night. He weans us from the pleasures by giving us dry times and inward darkness…Through the dark night pride becomes humility, greed becomes simplicity, wrath becomes contentment, luxury becomes peace, gluttony becomes moderation, envy becomes joy, and sloth becomes strength. No soul will ever grow deep in the spiritual life unless God works passively in that soul by means of the dark night.
These times of darkness and distance can very well be gifts of God presented to us for our own growth. God has not left us there, He has brought us there. There is some way in which He desires for us to grow in order for us to truly experience Him in a more complete way. God’s joy is not for us to be stagnant in our faith, but to come to a deeper lasting knowledge of who He is and how He desires our lives to be played out.
This is why we must hold onto the truth of Christ and the recognition that God is the “God of my salvation” as Psalm 88 is keen to point out to us. This psalm does not end in hope, but that does not mean that hope does not exist. We must cry out to God openly and honestly as we trust that as He has brought us into these times, He will be faithful to lead us out again. He has our best interests in mind. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Scott E. McGhee
The feeling that you have been forgotten is devastating. I can distinctly remember a time when I was in the first grade when my identity became that of the forgotten. The final bell of the day rang and I went outside to wait for my mom under the big tree out in front of the school. Cars with moms (and the occasional dad) stopped by to pick up their children while I continued to wait patiently for my own mom. One by one every single one of my classmates got picked up, and I was left alone sitting on a bench under the big tree. It felt as if all of eternity had slowly snuck by as I sat there waiting. Talk about feeling forgotten! There I was, seven years old, and obviously no one loved me, not even enough to pick me up from school.
Psalm 88 depicts a man who feels as if God has turned His back on him. He feels as if he has been rejected by God despite constant attempts to cry out to Him. He feels isolated and alone. He feels forgotten.
There are times in our lives where we will feel just as the psalmist of Psalm 88 felt; isolated, alone, and uncared for. We will come to times when we cannot feel the presence of God as we once did. That day under the big tree was one of those times for me. Even as a seven year old boy I was able to feel the weight that isolation and rejection can bring. So what do we do? How do we respond when we cannot figure out which way is up or why we feel the way we do?
In the opening verses of Psalm 88, the psalmist writes, “LORD, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry.” In the midst of his suffering, the psalmist still turns to God. Even though he felt alone, abandoned and forgotten by God, he still turns to God. He says “God I don’t know what is going on in my life or why I am feeling the way I do, but I am going to hold onto the truth and trust in the fact that You are my salvation!” He held onto the hope that even though God felt distant from him, that God could still save him; “LORD, you are the God who saves me.”
After a while, as I sat under the big tree, a school official came and took me to the front office. They called my mom and she quickly came to get me. As it turns out, our neighbor was supposed to pick me up from school that day. In the midst of my deep despair, the truth came out. Though I had been forgotten by someone, it had not been by my mom, and right then the person I thought had forgotten me, was the very person who pulled me out of my darkness.
Let us hold onto the fact that even in the depths of our darkness, God is still our salvation, and He has not forgotten us.
Scott E. McGhee
Great rental in City Heights, available now. House with yard: four bedrooms (two of those bedrooms have additional lofts), and two bathrooms. Hardwood maple floors and granite counters. Spacious home with high sloped ceilings and skylights. Large master bedroom has private bathroom. Large deck located off living room, through double glass doors. Washer and dryer. Plenty of parking in driveway and on the street. Located about five miles east of downtown San Diego, with quick access to interstates 94, 805, and 15. Five minute drive to SDSU. $2100/month. Call Ann @619-282-6743
Available March 1st, for $600/month. Spacious beautiful home, with huge kitchen. Utilities, laundry, and cleaning included. Wireless internet and cable. Bedroom can be furnished or unfurnished. Males preferred. We have four guys renting rooms, and have one room left. We are a middle-aged Christian couple and easy to get along with. Very centrally located: near the 805, 94, and 15, and close to SDSU and downtown. Must be responsible, working full-time days and/or student. Call Ann for more information, 619-672-9246.
Looking for a male roommate to share a room from now til the end of May. The apartment is located at The Reserve on Baltimore (Baltimore Dr.) which is in between Grossmont College and SDSU. Rent is approximately 370 plus electric and cable. It is a quiet low key environment with two other Christian guys. Please email dotson200@hotmail.com if you are interested or have any questions.
When the new year rolls into town, I am loosing my roommate to the luster and lights of New York City. This means there is an open room in Point Loma, a mere two miles from the sand and sea, open and available for your filling.I am a soon to be 30, female professional looking for another responsible, friendly, active and charming Christian. The complex boasts 8 sparkling pools, onsite laundry and fitness center, parking available, and pet friendly. Rent is $735 with utilities, cable and internet.If you or someone you know may be my potential new roommate, please submit inquiries to ShannonRoark@gmail.com.
Hi, my name is Gracie and I’m a recent graduate from UCSD. I attend Flood on Sunday evenings. I live in Pacific Beach, but I’m on staff part-time with a church in La Jolla, and getting to work is a challenge. I’m a good driver with a clean record – no accidents or tickets. If you have an extra car, or if you are studying abroad and would be willing to help me out, please let me know. I can provide personal insurance. Please e-mail me at graciewilkinson@torreypineschurch.netThank you, and God bless you!
Looking for one male roommate to move in anytime starting immediately, sharing a two bedroom apartment with two male roommates in their early 20’s. One roommate has a career while the other is currently enrolled in school. We both enjoy a quiet and neat environment. Rent will be between $350 to $385 for a shared room. Cost of utilities (just electric) and cable will probably be around $60 a month. There is a pool, workout room, and a game room. The apartment is located at Baltimore Chateau, between SDSU and Grossmont College. If you have any questions please email me at dotson200@hotmail.com.
God Bless
Hey! I am looking for a female roommate or roommates who are interested in looking for an apartment in the SD area. I love the beach, dogs, reading, going out and being social. I also love country music, so if you do to0 that would be a plus! I am looking for someone who shares a love for God that is still working on their journey towards Christ. I am not perfect nor want to room with someone who thinks they are! I am an almost 21 year old SDSU student looking for a good group of girls or girl to live with.
Email me if your interested in living with someone like me 
Andrea @ agomez177@hotmail.com
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